In his weekly kuliah tafsir on 22 July 2018, the Mufti shared parenting tips from the Quran on giving advice to children. It is difficult for parents to keep giving advice and reminders to their children when they keep falling on deaf ears. Moreover, as believers, we know that only Allah s.w.t. has the power to change the qadha (fate) and qadar (destiny) of a person.
Despite this, Allah s.w.t. in the Quran has commanded us to give advice and reminders to each other. Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. had also bid his followers to do the same.
“And remind, for indeed, the reminder benefits the believers.”
“The Prophet s.a.w. said, “The deen (religion) is naseehah (advice, sincerity).” We said, “To whom?” He (s.a.w.) said, “To Allah, His Book, His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.””
What are the implications here for parents towards their children?
Firstly, parents should give advice and remind their children towards goodness. At the very least, this would show their children that they are paying attention to them, and that they love them and are concerned for them.
Secondly, parents should strive to talk to their children and communicate with them regularly, instead of nagging at or lecturing them. When parents speak kindly, insyaAllah their children will be touched by their words, and recall their reminders and advice positively in the future.
Thirdly, parents should not tire of giving advice or reminders to their children, even if they may feel at times that their words are pointless. Even if their children do not heed their parents’ words within their lifetime, one day, they may recall them when their parents are no longer around, and realise that their parents loved them and were concerned for their well-being. This could end up being the spark for them to change.
Ultimately, Allah s.w.t. is the Determiner of all things, so surrender to Him. May Allah s.w.t. grant realisation and understanding in the hearts of children, no matter how hard their hearts may be, as a result of the love that their parents show them through their reminders and advice. Ameen.